Surviving the Moment

"When does the thorn become a blessing?

When does the pain become a friend?

When does the weakness make me stronger?

When does my faith make me whole again?

I want to feel His arms around me,

In the middle of my raging storm,

So that I can see the blessing in the thorn."

Listening to this song tonight, it seems like the songwriter was writing it for me. Today has been hard, inexplicably so. A dozen insignificant things made me miss Mom terribly. In this moment, it hurts so much that I can hardly breathe. So, I turn for comfort to my Bible. It's one that Mom and Dad gave me for my 12th birthday. There are so many underlines and highlights in it, and probably more than a few tearstains. It's like visiting an old friend, and that is what it's been like reading anew the passages that I've turned to for comfort over the years.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:3-5 NIV

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26 NIV

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39 NIV

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 NIV

As you can tell, I've been reading Romans tonight. I've found so much comfort in Romans over the years. I've found comfort in all of Scripture. Revisiting some of it this past month has been good. It helps. The only prayer I can string together tonight seems to be "God, help me." And He does. The hurt is still there, oh, it is still there! But He gives me enough strength to survive the moment. And then the next one. One step at a time, one breath at a time.

"To whom will you compare me?

Or who is my equal?" says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:

Who created all these?

He who brings out the starry host one by one,

and calls them each by name.

Because of his great power and mighty strength,

not one of them is missing."

Isaiah 40:25-26 NIV

This God of all creation, the God of all comfort is with me tonight. He calls the very stars by name, and yet, the Mighty One cares for me. God is still in control; the stars are still there. The stars are harder to see tonight because of the clouds, but they are still there. I checked.